The end of a story, the beggining of an other

New starts often follow the end of a previous story. That story would be the one of Marvin. I wish I had written more about our journey together. It only lasted a bit over a year an a half, but this story has been a full endeavor. Why did I not lay more words about it? Probably because of the frustration, despair, sadness, I experienced through it. There are things that one doesn't want to report. Don't get me wrong, Marvin also brought me a lot of good, definitively more good than bad. Unfortunately I couldn't write about the good without talking of the bad. Marvin was an intense dog, to say the least. His emotions (yes dogs feel emotions) were excessively more intense than the ones of any sane dog. Marvin loved with all his heart, he was the sweetest animal I have ever come across, he lived to please and gave all he could to be good. Sadly Marvin also worried with that same intensity, he was overly anxious. Anxiety possessed him, I could see his frustration when it took over his will; Marvin tried hard but could not take over. I am not talking here of separation anxiety, fear of thunderstorms, excessive response to normal stress triggers; Marvin's anxiety was constant and triggered by everything and anything. I worked hard with him and experience many little success, all of them appearing huge to me. I've had my hopes to "fix" him but eventually had to come to accept that Marvy was suffering from a much more serious mental disorder than any behavioral modification technique and/or medication could solve. Life is a succession of changes, we constantly meet new situations, new people, come across new places; in known environments, objects get changed or moved. Marvin could not deal with change, every single change needed hard work to adapt too. Bigger fear triggers would break him into panic attacks some leading to uncontrollable aggressivity. Marvin would get very frustrated by those loss of control and increasingly anxious.
Could I have just kenneled this dog and left him to content in a controlled environment? I believe not. Marvin was crazy but not stupid. What I mean is that he was an intelligent dog and life in a cage would have, paradoxically, lacked stimulation, leading Marvin to be evenly frustrated.
A few weeks ago, we decided that it was time to stop. We could not keep putting Marvin, as well as ourselves threw this stress and frustration. I miss him dearly. We had built a very special complicity, and he had become a intense presence by my side. I miss his clowning, his hugs, I miss playing with him, over all, I miss our little successes. I have no regrets about the time we spent together, I don't think any dog will ever teach me as much as he has about not only dogs, but also about people and myself. My only regret is that there was no more options than ending the story.

Marvin will not be forgotten, he will be with me while I raise my new pups. He will be there to remind me that dogs are sensitive individuals and that with special attention to there very own personality, with patience, even the biggest challenges can bring some successes.

Now is time for the next chapter. The one about our new up coming stars: M'Opus and M.E.Fhast. Marley is still a little dubitative about it, but I believe she will warm up to the idea and content in her prime role in the new puppy story.